When facing a difficult time, the easiest thing to do is lay down, play dead, and let life happen to you. It's easy to let it get the best of us. It can keep you up nights, disturb your peace, and pull you back into the rabbit hole, away from what you're creating out there in the world and what's important to you.
Obstacles & challenges happen to all of us. I mean, as long as you're living, they're gonna keep coming. And I say let them because it's the challenges we grow most from!!! âš¡ï¸ With the wrong attitude, you get sour lemons. But with the right attitude babe, you can make lemonade alll day long.
I put together this guide to help you remember who the f you are when going through trying times. It's important to remember that you hold the key, not your challenge and that protecting your peace is the most important job you have. Because when you're off, everything else that you're creating comes from that place of feeling not good. So we have to change that by making a new choice to show up fully in the face of our obstacles, and boldly step back in the driver's seat so we can go make important sh*t happen!
1. They know it's happening FOR them, not TO them.
You know that hardships can be your greatest teacher. You step away from the emotion of how it feels and look to what it's trying to show you. So often our feelings of how something makes us feel gets in the way of our progress. It slows us down and stops our forward momentum. It sucks our optimism and excitement for what we're doing in life. Aka: our life force. And it's up to you to step back, take a breath and assume the driver's seat position of your life. Because the truth is, nothing can make you feel a certain way without your consent. The new consent is giving yourself permission to step up and make a new choice that supports you!
Instead of looking at your challenge as something that's ruining your life, you see it as a message sent to make your life better. You look for what this challenge is trying to teach you and move from that place of curiosity. Ask yourself: "What is this thing in my life trying to teach me right now?"
2. They look for the opportunity.
You know that in every situation, there's an opportunity if you look for it. An opportunity to make a new pivot, or reevaluate your relationship, or get clear on what you want. You look for the upgrade and take it!
3. They make space for themselves.
During stressful times, you know how important it is to step away and spend time with yourself. You take more walks, journal, go to bed earlier, take calming baths, and anything else that brings you back to center. It's the time spent alone that you fill your cup and take care of you during challenging times.
4. They listen to their highest selves.
When the going gets tough, you tune in to your highest self and let her guide you, steadily and fiercely, through this moment or season of your life. You know that she is your best guide and will have your back through it all. Ask yourself: "What would my highest self do in this situation?" "What is my highest self trying to tell me?" If I asked her, "What's forward?" what would she say?
5. They know that this too shall pass.
You remember that this moment of your life will pass and once it does, you'll come out stronger, wiser and more equipped to handle more challenges in your future. Having the perspective of time is like being on a battlefield, growing imaginary wings and rising up to look at it from a bird's eye view instead. You have a new perspective and you're no longer "in it." You can see it as a temporary situation and it has less bearing. With less weight, you can carry it longer and stay for it.
6. They phone their bestie.
This is the time you lean on the people that mean the most to you. You know you have support and love and you openly reach out if you need it. You let yourself be vulnerable and share what you're working through and whether they just listen, hug you and tell you how awesome you are or they offer some help...you reach out and lean in when you need help. We're stronger together.
7. They don't let small things get to them.
You don't let the small stuff get to you because you have the perspective of knowing that while this challenge is bringing some difficulty and pressure into your life, that in the big picture, it's a small little pebble on the path of life. It may be slippery and you lose your footing but you know it's not a huge boulder. You remember the things you've overcome in your life, how far you've come and all the boulders you've moved. You shake your head with a little grin knowing you got this. As one of my old fitness mentors, Ronnie Coleman, always says right before lifting big weight, "Aint nothin but a peanut."
8. They live by the motto: What you focus on grows.
Thoughts create things. Whatever you think about, you do about. And whatever you do about, comes about. You might get off track and head down the rabbit hole from time to time, but you always pull yourself back. You catch yourself and where your attention is going. You're honest with yourself and see that you aren't off, your focus is. You readjust your focus and approach your challenge as a reminder to focus on what you can learn from it. From there, you can grow from it instead of being drowned by it.
9. She uses her obstacles to learn more about herself.
You look at every challenge as a way to take a deeper look at yourself. What triggers you? How does it feel for you? Where does it come from? Why is this thing sucking your good energy and how can you change your attitude to come from a place of strength and positivity? Knowing your emotions and triggers is knowing yourself on a deeper level. Our triggers are things that were created from past experiences and traumas. The challenge before you is giving you the opportunity to heal.
Everything you feel is valid because you feel it. It's coming from a place of truth and you know that understanding that place within yourself and what it's trying to tell you is how you can get better each and every time an obstacle comes your way.
10. They look to the future and walk fiercely forward.
While facing an obstacle, you know that the best course of action, while the growth process is happening, is to keep moving forward! You don't keep your energy stuck or stagnant, instead, you plunge forward with even more fire and passion into your future vision. You go back to what you're creating in your life and put your good energy there. When iron forges steel, the hammer delivers blow after blow until the process is complete. The metal is heated and the blows keep coming, shaping the metal until it's ready. While this challenge is strengthening you, you don't rush it, dismiss it or run from it, you rise to the occasion and keep stepping forward fiercely in the direction of your heart.
When you're going through a difficult season, remember when there's pain there's growth. Stay for it, give yourself grace and keep walking fiercely forward.