When I started my journey in 2009, the one thing I wanted more than anything else was to feel proud of myself.
In July of 2022, I went to an event where I sat in a room with 11 other people and got vulnerable as I shared for the first time with anyone else - let alone myself - that I felt like I had a hole in me and I wasn't sure what I was doing and who I even was. Someone asked me what I wanted and I remember pausing and saying the 3 most powerful words you can ever admit to yourself: I don't know.
Saying it was the hardest part yet also the most freeing moment I had in some time. I felt like a failure and wondered how I could have thought I was moving forward all this time yet be back at square one with myself. Yet, I felt like a dump truck came off my shoulders as I said the truth.
Being honest with ourselves is exactly what we need to do to truly begin moving forward in our lives.
For a long time I denied myself of the truth and it wasn't until I faced my truth that I started to build esteem within myself and build the confidence that had been missing most of my life.
This was when I started my Fierce Forward movement that would be indestructible.
This past year has been a transformational year for me. I've learned how to once again Fierce Forward for me. And in this journey, I've gained confidence that has helped me move forward, fiercely in a sustainable way that won't come crashing down on me again.
I know how imperative it is to know your worth when you start to move forward and live the life you were born to live. The life you dream of having in your heart. The woman you dream of being in your soul.
Confidence comes from knowing yourself and accepting who you are.
For over a decade, I've taken 5 repeated steps that helped me build the foundation of my Self, gain confidence and become the woman that my future needs. Read all 5 and start building your confidence!
1. Get honest with yourself.
Both times I committed to myself and made lasting change happen, I got honest with myself. The first time I turned on Sarah McClaughlin and cried as I admitted to myself that I wasn't being the woman I wanted to be in this life. The second time I sat in a room with 10 other people and got vulnerable. I shared that I felt lost for most of my life and I didn't understand what this hole I felt was.
Your honest moment might look different and that's ok. In my experience, a getting honest moment requires you to start acknowledging how you're feeling, what isn't working for you anymore and allowing the feelings to come through you instead of pushing them down and moving on. It means spending more time alone and reflecting. Journaling and building new habits into your life that support your connection with yourself.
This is the foundation for any lasting change: building an honest and open relationship with yourself. Then from this place, making a new decision.
Don't run from honesty. Yes, it feels intense and scary but it's these very feelings that move you to the woman and life you want to live. When you face them with courage and continue down the path your heart's guiding you, you will always be rewarded. This is the only path.
2. Know what's holding you back.
Once you get honest with how you've been feeling in your life and admit to yourself that you're not going all in or you're not being your true self...whatever it is for you...now is the time to find out what's truly been holding you back.
For me, it was a lack of knowing who I am. It sounds crazy, but once I started doing the inner work and getting curious about what holds me back, it all came back to my experiences from childhood that shaped my perceptions about myself. Once I knew this, I found my path.
Once you find that thing that's been keeping you from truly living in your full essence and being happy - I call this self diagnosing - you can create your own medicine to become healthy again. Or maybe for the first time ever if you're like me.
Some things that hold most of us back are: lack of self worth, fear, & limiting beliefs.
3. Decide who you want to be.
I used to be a Goal Coach and one of the things I learned in my classes was "The power of knowing what you don't want, points you to what you do want."
From knowing what has been holding you back, you'll then discover what you no longer want to feel or believe in your life anymore. When I learned that I never fully developed my own sense of worth, I decided this isn't the person I want to be. I want to be a person who knows herself fiercely, loves herself and all that she is and moves forward in her most authentic way, on her truest path in her Life.
You see how one leads to the other? Decide who you want to be now. This is where you start looking forward to your future and don't forget, you are limitless and you can create whatever you decide you can create. Don't let voices of fear and self doubt come into this space as you imagine who you really want to be!
4. Start being her now.
Now is the time to commit. The truth is, whatever you can envision, it already is you. It already is your creation in your mind, that comes from your heart. The next step is to create the physical manifestation of your vision. This is where you become and embody the person you want to be. This might be the person you feel you were born to be.
This is a two-fold step. I look at myself everyday and reflect. I ask myself what I did and if I could have done anything better or if there was anything I left on the table. I assess and then I make adjustments and embody that next level of myself the next day.
Let's just say you've played small your whole life and you're a people pleaser and don't know what you're doing in your life, and even who you are. If the future you speaks her truth and chooses her own needs, then you start working on those daily practices. You start practicing them now and start being this version of you today. Then the next day and the day after and this is how you become her.
5. You gain self worth.
What you did in the 4 steps above was connect to your truest self. Every time you do this and every time you let your inner voice guide you forward in truth, you gain confidence in yourself.
So many people listen to everything and everyone outside of themselves and this is why we lack confidence and a knowing of how incredible we are. This is the path that moves you forward. The one where you focus fiercely on you, who you're becoming and the life you're creating!
Stay the course and continue Fiercing Forward for you. This has been my greatest experience in life is to discover and choose the path true to me and to honor that with my heart. You can too. Go out there and beat down the path that's yours to create in this lifetime.
3 Intention Bracelets to Build Self Confidence:
1. Fierce Forward Sunstone Bracelet
Sunstone is a crystal that the Vikings used as a navigational tool on the open ocean. It would point their way forward using the moonlight against it's stone surface. Wear this bracelet everyday as you step forward into new territory of personal growth. Look down and remember to continue Fiercing Forward for you! Get it here.
2. Committed Rhodonite Bracelet
Rhodonite is a powerful self love stone that promotes compassion and acceptance within yourself. The Committed Charm is a physical reminder that choosing yourself is a commitment only you can make with you. It's an act of rebellion for people pleasers and an act of self love! Get it here.
3. I Am Transforming Malachite Bracelet
A powerful transformational stone, Malachite reminds you that growth is life. The I Am Charm is your North Star as you begin the work of acceptance and love with yourself. You are what's in your heart. Only you can decide who you really are. Get it here.
I created Fierce Forward jewelry to help us on our journey of moving forward to our future! They're your daily reminders of the intention you want to bring to your life. Think of your jewelry as your cheerleading squad always giving you the best energy so you can keep choosing you and moving forward to what you want! I welcome you to browse the Fierce Forward collection today to find a piece that resonates with you!